A "Caiçara" in the Windy City

A piece to remind you (and me!) to practice kindness towards ourselves

No, this isn’t just another self-help blog. It’s a space where I gather my feelings and experiences about our daily challenges. It’s not just about me; it’s also about what I heard from the incredible women I mentor and support daily.

Being a woman today can feel overwhelmingly heavy at times. One of the biggest struggles I face is navigating social media. As a communication specialist who has written a book on the complexities of social media, I’m acutely aware of its potential and pitfalls.

Social media is merely a tool, yet we often forget that in our daily lives. It can help us but also lead to a skewed sense of self as we become preoccupied with curating a perfect image rather than embracing our true selves.

In the digital landscape, we tend to validate those who maintain a strong online presence—whether they’re individuals or companies. This creates pressure to keep up appearances, leading us to share only snippets of our lives, much like the tiny tip of an enormous iceberg. When we get caught up in this, it’s easy to lose sight of who we truly are.

For many, this disconnection can lead to feelings of inadequacy. If we’re not equipped with a solid foundation, the disconnect between reality and the curated online lives we see can lead to real heartache. We’ve already witnessed the costs of this comparison, and it’s heartbreaking.

I believe the issue’s root lies in our tendency to compare ourselves to others—not just the algorithms pushing us forward. Imagine a world where billions of people craft essentially fake realities, desperately trying to prove that they matter. Many of us start to feel that our lives somehow lack value or worth.

We’ve become performance-driven machines, feeling the need to outdo ourselves constantly. Running isn’t enough; you have to run a marathon in less than 4 hours. You can’t be healthy with your weight; you must wear isn’t 0. You can’t just stick to what you like; you need a Ph.D. and speak on a TED Talk. You can’t just work and like your work (or not); you must find your purpose and win prizes. It is not just about meditating; you must rest in Tibet during those days.

It’s not AI replacing us. It’s the immense pressure we put on ourselves. With these unrealistic expectations, we have started to remove our humanness and replace it with robotic performance. AI is just a tiny part of a much larger issue. It’s becoming increasingly challenging to lead a fulfilled life when we place so much importance on performance.

When I describe this situation, it feels like we’re living in a dystopian reality. The writers of Black Mirror hardly need to exert themselves; they simply reflect what’s happening in our lives today. It’s tough to maintain mental health and self-love while constantly comparing ourselves on social media.

So, how do we rediscover that love for ourselves amidst all this noise?

The first step is disconnecting from social media and reconnecting with yourself. It may sound cliché, but going back to basics is essential in these challenging times.

Remind yourself that you are enough. You are brilliant, beautiful, and perfect, just the way you are. You’re doing the best you can, and that is more than enough. If areas in your life need improvement, you will find the time to work on them when it’s right for you.

When you return to Instagram or TikTok, remember that what you see in people’s glimpses doesn’t help other people’s lives. Don’t let the pressure of high performance infect your spirit. Take a deep breath, and remember that you are a human being deserving of love and worth that goes far beyond what can be measured in likes and shares.